Stress is not coming from outside. Stress is our reaction to a situation.
If we don’t want stress, what do we want?
What is it that we really want instead? Is it peace, calm, joy, focus???
As long as we focus on what we don’t want, we generate more of the same.
All the tricks and tips about stress management (eat healthy, have exercise, don’t abuse coffee, alcohol, sleep well…) can help but if it does not start with being back in touch with our inner power, it does not work.
We need to change our believes about ourselves, about how we react to events and situations.
Most of our stress is connected to negative believes that we keep consciously or not in deep drawers of our mind.
If we believe that our stress is coming from outside, we have no power and we are a sort of victim.
Usually, we will be irritable and aggressive towards other drivers for example when we are not in peace with ourselves: if we are frustrated and unhappy.
When it is a good day and we are happy, our reaction is so different. We can cope with so many things, keeping our cool and inner tranquility.

If you want to manage your stress, identify what you really want instead, and work on that specific state.

Denis Gorce-Bourge MPMANLP,-MNHSTA-MBACPSL
International Coach and Trainer
Specialist in Stress Management
www.gblifecoaching.co.uk
admin@gblifecoaching.com
0044(0)7815844134

©GBlifecoaching 2009 Denis Gorce-Bourge

Story in 1 chapter

2 people are walking on a little route in the midle of the beautiful countryside.

They’re sharing there views on the landscape.

One of them is telling how beatiful it is and how lucky they are to be in such a beautiful environment.

The other one, tired of listening to those comments starts talking and says: « You’re such an optimist. You’re an idealist. It’s all gray and dusty, there’s almost no life. How can you tell me that it is beautiful? »

Moral of this story: The second person is looking down on the walkway and the other one is looking up and enjoys the landscape.

Question: Would it be possible that in fact realists and optimists are not looking or not seing the same things?

Little story from an optimist very interested in the realists…

Most of aggressive behaviors are the expression of frustration, unhappiness and some kind of misery.
When you have such a person beside you in the train, in the bus or driving a car on the road, you have the choice of answer.
You can be aggressive back, you can start your day accordingly to this person and spread anger around you later at the office.
You can as well look at this person with compassion or at least awareness of what’s happening. You can ignore the fact and stay away not to contribute with your own frustration.
I am not saying that it is easy to change reaction and to have control. The fact is that if you can not control the person around you, you have the choice and power to control yourself.

Aboyer ou ne pas aboyer en retour

La plupart des comportements agressif sont l’expression de frustration, tristesse et une sorte de misere.
Lorsque vous etes confrontes a une telle personne dans le train, le bus ou sur la route, vous avez le choix de la reponse.
Vous pouvez etre agressif en retour, vous pouvez demarrer votre journee au diapason de cette agressivite et cultiver la rage autour e vous, plus tard au bureau.
Vous pouvez aussi regarder cette personne avec de la compassion ou au moins une conscience de ce qui se passe. Vous pouvez ignorer et rester a distance afin de ne pas contribuer avec votre propre frustration.
Je ne dis pas que c’est facile de changer de reaction et de garder le controle. Le fait est que si vous ne pouvez pas controler les gens autour d vous, vous avez le choix et le pouvoir de rester en controle de vous meme.

Denis Gorce-Bourge MPMANLP, MNHSTA
Psychotherapist & life Coach
www.gblifecoaching.co.uk
admin@gblifecoaching.com
0044(0)7815844134

©GBlifecoaching 2006-2008 Denis Gorce-Bourge

Life Coaching Circle  How about making a move in the right direction? Come to a monthly session of the Life Coaching Circle to improve your strength and ability to deal with difficulties. The Life Coaching Circle is two and a half hours of mentoring, help and discussion in a small group (maximum 12). It is a space where you can feel safe and confident to share your feelings and learn practical tools to improve your life.  There are break-out sessions for exercises and discussions (sub-groups of three people). The Life Coaching Circle is run by Denis Gorce-Bourge, Professional Psychotherapist and Life Coach.  Denis has worked as a therapist for 15 years and has the ability to help people in a respectful, ethical way.  He specialises in stress and self image issues, as well as emotional and spiritual questions, and is accredited with many respected therapy associations. Denis has recently finished writing a book about Coaching Strategies, which is soon to be published. The Life Coaching Circle runs every second Saturday of the month, from 2.00 to 4.30pm, at two minutes walk from the London Bridge tube station. The next meeting of the Life Coaching Circle is on Saturday 11^th October at 2.00pm. One session per month is only £28 and rest assured that you will benefit from this interactive, welcoming environment with other wonderful human beings.  Bookings are essential so please call 07815844134 or email admin@gblifecoaching.com to secure your place. I look forward to meeting you!Denis Gorce-Bourge MPMANLP, MNHSTA
Psychotherapist & Life Coach
www.gblifecoaching.co.uk
admin@gblifecoaching.com

Who are those people? Why do they act like this?What do they have in mind?What do they need to believe to act this way?I am talking about those people driving crazy, acting as if they would own the road.They are the new Cowboys…Who are they? What kind of life do they have? They are affirming something with their comportment.I would like to believe that they are going to change because they’re young and stupid???Why should I bother? Just ignore them and act precisely as if they would be naughty kids with big dangerous toys. Stay as much as possible away from them and do not be upset. Do not ruin your day for someone who does not care.Don’t punish yourself being aggressive towards them.Breathe with your tummy and relax. Let it go and leave them what belongs to them.Do not play their game.Life is too short to raise your blood pressure for them.

 Every day is a new day, a new opportunity to try again, to do better, to share more of the best and let go of the dirt.Every day is a new chance to not do the same and not repeat what we wanted to change yesterday.Today is a real opportunity. Every minute of this white page will be our responsibility and our achievement tonight when we’ll go to bed.The world today is the result of all those individual energies, actions and decisions.Gandhi said: “You must be the change you want to see in the world”.

 Have you noticed how often you give way driving, you give way at a shop door, you give way on the pavement and you are not even acknowledge or even of course thanked?Please say thank you to them. Say thank you. Acknowledge the fact that they honor you in accepting you to give them way…Come on, we are born to give way to this superior specie of people in the urban jungle that assume that it’s normal to give them way and wait for their highness to pass. Let contribute to make this place a more civilized place and let thank them systematically. I do this all the time and sometimes, I find a light in the bottom of their eye, telling me either, “WHOTTT?” or “why does he thank me?”, or “…”!!!The worse that could happen is for people who normally thank and act in a civilized way, smile and give way to stop doing it.As Gandhi said, “an eye for an eye will make the whole world go blind”.

Beauty creates positive emotions, lift you up and connect you to the best of your inner world.It can be just a plant, a nice picture, a color on the wall…Avoid clutter mess and chaos in your home. Try to keep a connection with the natural harmony of nature. You can find beauty everywhere. It is all about the way you are looking at things, the way you are looking at the world and what you see. Clouds in the sky, a bird in the tree, a smile in the street… Find beauty around you, create beauty and spread beauty.

 How different do you want this day to be compare to yesterday? Celebrate this day as an amazing potential for you. You are the one about to write this new page and it is in your hands.Nothing should stop you from writing this page exactly the way you want to write it. It is your privilege and your responsibility. Enjoy

What do you think?If the answer is yes, are you helping others to be happy in their life? Are you spreading happiness around you with your good mood and do you think that it helps others to be happier?If the answer is no, do you have people around you who do spread happiness and does it help you being happier? It is all in our hands about having a good day or not. You just lost an important contract, you crashed your car, you credit card at the limit?Well, will you allow these things to ruin your day?If it’s your last day on earth, do you think that these events are major enough to be grumpy?We never know what our future will be… Make me a favor and give kisses, hugs and kind words to people around you today.